Thats where relationship lives is in these tiny moments, and whether you are cognizant of that and tuned into that channel all the time, or not, that is the story of a relationship. I think thats cause we were always sort of fighting nearby. So, Dont eat a hamster is our version of Dont jump to conclusions.. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. Kilpy I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. Jennifer Garner tells Kelly Corrigan how she inspires others to find their true passions. You wrote this book in a season of incredible loss. Were just a series of days and interactions. I love your book and your honesty as I keep questioning everything. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. She had ovarian cancer, so she had fought it for seven years, and it was the kind of thing where I felt like I urgently wanted to deserve my life. Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. Kelly Corrigan:So, I used to go in there and write, and they have a meditation teacher twice a day at 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM, and at first I was sort of sheepish about availing myself of every single employee benefit, but sure enough, eventually I found myself sitting in there, and this guy was kind of amazing. You could do worse than to live by that one. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. It kind of reminded me though, when I was little, my family used to have these mottos, but the mottos were stuff like, Dont get crumbs on the baby, or Be nice to mom. This interview is perfection. Ask the dancers, and the athletes, the painters, and musicians. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. Kelly Corrigan:And Im getting to walk with them way longer on their road, and I felt this sense that I could never possibly deserve that, that Im not that great a person, or a mom. Just see who you can bump into out there. Shed do dishes all day and into the night to just get to listen to her children, just to get to watch them through a one-way glass, you know? Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. It just came out whole, and of course, to me its the most important and moving chapter in the book for sure. Each episode ends with Kellys shortlist of takeaways, appropriate for refrigerator doors, bulletin boards and notes to your children. Kelly Corrigan sits down with Melinda French Gates. Find me online at @KateCBowler, and Id love to hear what you think of this episode. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. Playlist. Kareem means generous. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. And Ive talked to a couple of my girlfriends whove gotten divorced, and they say the exact same thing happens to them. Corrigan and her guests dig into such questions as "Is knowing more always . And you know, it was so weird, but dying was the easier part of it. I was wrong not to try to know her, and I could just see it in his face that it was like, Okay, you understand. This is the way this has to be, and its right there. Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. The ambiguity is quite isolating. I really appreciate it. Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. Thank you for adding to the number of not-normal, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat people in the world. Yeah. My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. Its remarkable to hear a bit of your story and Im really grateful that youve shared it with us. When I read that, I just kept thinking of how scared Ive been about what I call being a zombie. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. So, I really appreciated the way that you framed the bigness and the smallness of it, because it has to be both. Kate Bowler:Well, the quote that really resonated with me is when you said, They are moving onward, not away from you, but with you. She totally doesnt get it. Were jumping in way too soon and talking way too much. My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan is a series that inspires, educates and entertains. Constance shares her experiences as an actress in Hollywood both on and off screen: the privilege and responsibility of representation, being a true artist, navigating social media and an incident which took her to a very dark place.Special thanks to PBS for supporting Tell Me More and this podcast series. Ill read you a little bit from the very end of that chapter because the thing that he was saying I think is, This is how it goes.. Kilpy It kind of reminded me though, when I was little, my family used to have these mottos, but the mottos were stuff like, Dont get crumbs on the baby, or Be nice to mom. Thank You for all you do!! Kate Bowler:Oh friend. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. Kilpy I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. We are so glad that you joined us for this conversation and found it enjoyable. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. We can remove the first video in the list to add this one. The name is a lyric from . Weeks later, the missing hamster crawled out from under the stove. Im so glad youve been plugging in and hope to keep hearing your feedback! Ive read Tell Me More twice already. Yeah. Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. 5:55. I love your style and all your guests are fascinating to listen to with so much insight and knowledge. I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. Download. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. I dont know, but a whole new world of possibilities exist right now that did not exist an hour and 10 minutes ago, and I think that is so cool, and real, and exciting. Im coming. Kilpy -Kilpy Its really wonderful to learn more about you and hear the ways youve connected with Kate and the book. Phrases like I dont know, I was wrong, and one of my favorites, Its like this. Kate Bowler:I guess Ill see you soon. Kelly Corrigan:Theyre never going to not do that, and thats how theyre going to raise their kids, and that means shes still here. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. I mean, that means shes with them. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead. Describing the middle school drama teacher as the first person who believed in her, she imparts her gratitude for him coming to her defense as a young student. Kate Bowler:Theres this other phrase, I was wrong, that has real power, and you learned that in a really intense way when your grandma died. This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. Claire, This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. Kelly also hosts her own podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders, which she describes as a "place for people who like to laugh while they think." On the podcast, she tackles a different question every month in a series of weekly conversations with some of her favorite thinkers. Kate Bowler:Theres this other phrase, I was wrong, that has real power, and you learned that in a really intense way when your grandma died. And then right on the heels of that, I think, What would Liz do for this?. Thats where its at. Just do your best. Your mantra is fantastic and is sounds like it has served you well through the years! Alex, More lessons learned. Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. I dont know. Kilpy I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. I just want to show up and try to be of use. Then cancer hit. Plus, we learn how the same technique can actually reduce racism and prejudice. Thank you for this. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. Team Everything Happens. I dont know. A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling . Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. Adjust the colors to reduce glare and give your eyes a break. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. Kate Bowler:Yeah. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. Can we trust our gut? Team Everything Happens, Kate, I love that youre human- that you cry as easily as I do and that you say youre not normal as often as I do (me about myself of course!). Kate Bowler:Yeah. Like, Today could be this day, well, you know, today I met you, now were friends, and who knows whats going to happen now? What do we do when the labels we're given aren't necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kelly Corrigan:Its like a game changer. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. That kind of belonging is transcendent, and you just feel it pop up in these little moments. Onwards! I always asked her this when I wondered if I was handsome in any way. Thats like total vanity but, especially with the kids, I definitely think, Edward and I both think, If you let us run this out for you, well get it done like one, two, three, and thats so humiliating, and degrading, and just the opposite of self-esteem building, which is sort of like the ground we walk on as adults. Its completely random. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. She had ovarian cancer, so she had fought it for seven years, and it was the kind of thing where I felt like I urgently wanted to deserve my life. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kelly Corrigan:I was perhaps proud about it honestly, and I was reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People at night with my big fat yellow highlighter, and I was really full of attachment to this identity that I had painted for myself. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. Kelly Corrigan. Im sorry to ask about the hard part, but would you mind telling me what happened? Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. Kate Bowler:Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. Ryland was a light in this world who struggled with anxiety, depression and addiction. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. Kate Bowler:Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. I absolutely love that phrase. Kelly Corrigan:So, I get it, but I spend a lot of time with them, and Im madly in love with them, really, really have this deep, incredible connection with them that I just value so much, and they are in her, and you know, theyre everything that was so important to her. Kelly Corrigan:You know, that I had lost his favor for a moment, and I was just so ashamed. Your email address will not be published. Lives dont last. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. Its all this cumulative effect of a thousand minuscule moments. I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. Mom, we cant sell family, right? I looked at this sweet-natured adorable little puppy and acquiesced. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. She reflects on her love and loss through ordinary moments and everyday sayings. Kate Bowler:Yeah, the indignity. Yeah. Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Kelly Corrigan:Im telling you what, man, you can not believe how much I use this, and you can not believe how still it is not my natural instinct. Thats the word. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. Best, I end up saying to my therapy clients, to my friends, and to my daughter both Change is hard and the stage-specific version of CIH, Middles are awful. Middles are awful: we have to either find language for an ambiguous state or give up on finding it: hard, sweaty work. Kate is a young mother, writer and professor who, at age 35, was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. The Honor and Weight of of Being a Role Model. I think we make life a little more interesting! Team Everything Happens, Kate, This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. CW: death of parent, death of friend to cancer. Like, Im just an ordinary person, and I make all the mistakes that everybody else makes and maybe even 10% more, and then there she was, and what she would have done for the life that I was kind of rushing through, multitasking my way through day, after day, and you know, sort of feeling snappish, and then catching myself, and feeling like I should be different. average height of wnba player by position, como pagar solo un mes de powtoon, penalty for hitting gas line ontario,