Find Property for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. Hamilton: State of Union is strong; at least when it comes to eggs. Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." You will receive 5 new columns each week and 2 columns from the archives. The difference is President Biden twice last week indicated that he is planning to announce that hes running for re-election for president soon. People magazine just named her least Likely Ever to Become President. So far, Im blessed to be having a good year financially. Argus Hamilton creating comedy column and videos Argus Hamilton Select a membership level Official Patron $3 / month Thank you for supporting Argus and his column! Argus Hamilton on the News: Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & more! Hamilton: What happened to presidential quality control? JamesEdition can help you find the home that match all the preferences for your dream home. Oklahoma Speakers 2023. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. The Publicists Manual states that in order to stay in the news, you scream racism for three days and then you develop a cocaine problem and get arrested on Sunset Boulevard.ARGUS HAMILTON, GB, Albert departments battle two structure fires Monday, Council OKs resolutions for Zarah loft project, Local volunteers strive to include girls in youth soccer, Bernard (Barney) John Kruse 1952 - 2023. Everyone agrees he needs at least three more concussions to be as funny as Terry Bradshaw. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Twinkies, Royal Babies & More, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Paula Deen & Much More. Reaction was bad. By continuing to browse, you consent to our use of cookies. GALLERIES. Watch Argus tell all of the stories from the early days at The Store to today and everything in between. Madonna blamed ageism and sexism President Biden will deliver his State of the Union tonight before a joint session of the House and Senate gathered in the House Chamber in the U.S. Capitol. Dr. Fauci warned Americans to wear three bathing suits before getting in the pool. Traveling From California Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? Editorial Cartoons Puzzles From Print . Check out new hilarious editorial cartoons page, updated daily! You just select one of the six lines on the table. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". It is available for print and websites through ExtremeInk.com. They just made it into the ocean. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Back in 1999 Bill Clinton paid Paula Jones $850,000 to shut up and go away and in 2016 Donald Trump paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 Donald Trumps grand jury recessed a second straight day Thursday as the case against him for his hush money payment to a porn star seemed to falter. I finally heard on the news why were having an egg shortage. Academy Awards producers are reported worried the ceremony will draw low ratings due to stars using the stage as a political platform in the past. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. His wife had just told him were out of bacon and theres only one beer left. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. Lets face it. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? Friday, April 23, 2010 Argus Hamilton's column for 4-23-10 Simone showed tremendous courage by stepping down from the very top because her mental state isn't quite right. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Here's part four of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. sustaining monthly donation. Governor Cuomo was questioned for hours over sex harassment charges. Contact Argus@ArgusHamilton.com for more information. Hamilton: Brady too old to be a quarterback, too young to be president, Hamilton: Egg shortage? Yes, you can easily cancel or upgrade your pledge at any time. The demonstration was amazing. Democratic Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro called for gender equity in car safety testing Friday in House hearings. Hes also gotten the boot from MSNBC, KCBS, Fox Sports, NBC Football Night in America and ESPN. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Please join them, and help support independent media! See if they are performing this week at Laugh Factory! Become a Humor Times patron via Patreon.com! Its so sad.If PGA golfers would just tee it up in the rough every now and then when nobodys looking, they might get it out of their system.Californias Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the state ban on affirmative action in college admissions Monday. White House spokesman John Kirby offhandedly revealed that a second approaching object was quickly shot down out of the sky over Alaska Friday. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Read more, Miley Cyrus, George Clooney, Obamacare and much more Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth reportedly broke up Monday due to her raunchy MTV Awards performance. Editors have the option to run all the columns, some of the columns, edited versions of the columns, daily excerpts or a weekly compilation. FEATURES. Hamilton: Two old guys in the theater balcony? Argus comments on Medicare, Duck Dynasty, Francoise Hollande and more. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Best prices and best deals for cars in Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". Please join them, and help support independent media! Its the most liberal court in America. Be the first to receive new merch items! Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Prince William and Kate left her parents home Friday, sparking frenzy that the royal birth was Read more. Columns; Contests; Lifestyles. Help us keep the lights on with a small (or large!) Argus Hamilton - Comedian Argus Hamilton's hilarious political humor column is available five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism. President Biden gleefully mocked Donald Trump Friday for issuing a limited set of trading cards as NFT for $99 on the crypto market. When he's in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Lets see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.. 3 talking about this. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations. Hamilton: Did Madonna get stung by a bee? Comedy Store legend Argus Hamilton jokes about the news of the day and chats with comedians and other entertainers from the basement of the World Famous Come. Hamilton: In those Super Bowl ads, its about what sells beer. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. We just dont Read more, Carnival reimbursed the U.S. for rescuing two liners stranded at sea with overflowing sewage early this year. Travel and Leisure forecast that 47% of Americans will travel this month for winter vacations and for Christmas and holiday celebrations with family. Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent for more information on Argus Hamilton speaking fees, availability, speech topics and cost to hire for your next live or virtual event. We thank you. The food went rancid Read more, The news according to Argus! When home in Los Angeles, he can be seen live onstage at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. The Los Angeles Times reports the second man to step foot on the moon, NASAs legendary Buzz Aldrin married a much younger woman on his 93rd birthday Saturday in a ceremony in Beverly Hills. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Hamilton: Argus responsible for pandemic; he didnt send email to 10 people, Hamilton: Southwest flight is booked for Jan. 5th or 6th or 7th, Hamilton: Even the signs are private in La Jolla, Hamilton: Harry and Meghan insist in millionth interview they just want privacy, Hamilton: The Fourth Wiseman brought a fruitcake. Ask Argus anything you want to know or ask Argus his advice about comedy, writing, Hollywood, etc. . A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Modern Health advised Baby Boomers to take up vigorous exercise to maintain health and extend our lives. Fox replies, hold my beer! Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More! language, country and your other public info. This Christmas, Kanye West will be going from house to house to make your drunk uncle seem OK. As we share our homes with relatives and loved ones, we are reminded of that first Christmas scene. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Miley Cyrus and Much More! When hes in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Fox News cited an intelligence report Thursday saying UFO sightings have surged in the past two years in the U.S. CNN, NBC and ABC reported there were 400 sightings of UFOs in the U.S. last week. Portage Daily Register; Reedsburg Times-Press; "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus jokes. The billionaire is off the grid along with staff including his yacht captain and crew, his science advisor and several women. Review and Buy used cars online at OOYYO. Presidents Day celebrates George Washington and Abraham Lincoln while Americans prepare to choose again between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. Its an outrageous seizure of private property. Supermarket News reports shortages of tinned fish, and lettuce, dwindling beef supplies, and even a champagne shortage, along with the egg shortage causing poultry products to skyrocket. Check out new hilarious editorial cartoons page, updated daily! Argus Hamilton's humor column, now in its second decade, appears five days a week on the Internet and in over 100 newspapers across the U.S. We are also in the Muslim holiday of Ramadan while Wednesday was the first night of Passover for Jews. By supporting creators you love on Patreon, you're becoming an active participant in their creative process. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Not just muppets Hamilton: ATM in the gym lobby is best machine to impress the women, Hamilton: Bud Light has always been trans its water that identifies as beer, Hamilton: I found nuclear launch codes in a fortune cookie, Hamilton: MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning, Fox raises him from the dead, Hamilton: The Founding Fathers would be on the FBI watch list today, Hamilton: Payoffs, hush money show Trump knows how to negotiate, Hamilton: Settling for Partly Cloudy Daniels, Hamilton: Alliance aligns with March Madness bracket picks, Hamilton: Not everybody can be Irish; somebody has to drive, Hamilton: Vodka mixes well with everything but decisions, Hamilton: Tax refund will pay for that dozen eggs, Hamilton: Money left in your bank account after taxes is an IRS red flag, Hamilton: Tinker Bell has new sister in latest movie, Hamilton: Life in prison is diminishing deterrent for the aging, Hamilton: This candidate gets you four presidents in one, Uncle Sams tall hat handy when its being passed around, Hamilton: Look how much I still owe to Ukraine, Hamilton: Prez shoots down balloon angioplasty idea out of habit. Argus Hamilton, Southern Man of Taste The Comedy Store Podcast Stand-Up Argus has seen it all and today he shares a couple of stories in which the felonies that were committed have passed the statute of limitations for prosecution in the great state of California. Hamilton: Murdochs much-younger fiance calls off wedding; he must have passed physical, Hamilton: Male crash dummies are too proud to ask for directions. You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. North Korea's dictator Kim Jung Un was on hand for the launch of two intercontinental ballistic missiles Sunday which were to prove he could attack the United States. U.S. numbers will start declining as our numbers lag a week behind England's. Anheuser-Busch courted customer outrage and boycott by celebrating Transgender Rights Day by placing transgender woman activist Dylan Mulvaneys image on Bud Light beer cans Pope Francis hosts Good Friday services in Rome today for Roman Catholics worldwide. They said it shows that in the past World Cups it was the gays who caused all the trouble. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. Well, I don't know about Laurel, she looks more like Hardy to me. Hamilton: With all the potato chip flavors, who needs other foods. Tiger Woods played well over the weekend in the Los Angeles Open sponsored by Genesis, the parent company of Hyundai. Be the first on your block to get the new Humor Times t-shirt!! Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian, writer, and host of The Comedy Store Tonight starring Argus Hamilton. Editorials Letters Columns Rants & Raves. [6] Robin Williams called him "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom". Fox News 92-year-old CEO Rupert Murdoch ordered Tucker Carlson fired, causing Fox stock to crash $980 million in value Monday, three days after he paid Dominion $787 million to settle a libel lawsuit. AAE Named to Inc. Best Workplaces in 2022. He had two mistresses fighting over him and a wife Read more. Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Copyright 1979 - 2022. The Weather Channel reported a winter storm crossed the nation Wednesday as blizzards buried the Midwest and hailstorms pounded the South. Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. Search for real estate and find the latest listings of Cagnes-sur-Mer Property for sale. 69 and Robin Drive takes Diamond Valley residents by surprise, Need2Know: Bed Bath and Beyond announces beginning of closure process; Outdoor retailer REI Co-op to open Prescott store this fall; C&C Cyclery offers products and services to mountain bikers, Contents of this site are Copyright 2023 Prescott Newspapers, Inc. and Western News&Info, Inc. All rights reserved. She actually demanded that half of the crash dummies used be female crash dummies. Related Tags: Information on keynote speaking engagements, personal appearances, corporate entertainment and appearance fees for Argus Hamilton, an inspirational motivational speaker. By Argus Hamilton, January 18, 2014 Jay is now watched more closely than a Pennsylvania groundhog when walks onstage. The Mars Curiosity rover was rebooted by NASA Monday after it had an unexpected glitch this past weekend. It also identifies the celebrants who need to go to rehab. Smaller Twinkies seen as un-American Hostess Twinkies returned Tuesday but the new Twinkies weigh less and have less calories than old Twinkies. Last night during the Games, the Americans took the Gold Silver and Bronze medals. Missouris State Fair banned a rodeo clown for life who wore a Barack Obama mask while a bull Read more, A-Rod: Trying to enhance his chances of playing again The FDA discovered e-coli in ground beef that is distributed nationwide but it wont hurt the restaurant business. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Biden will open by declaring the State of the Union is strong, and theres evidence Joe is right. Political Column syndicated in 180 newspapers across the US daily Official Comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial Fee Range $7,500 - $10,000 Traveling From Oklahoma and California Meet Argus Hamilton, the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." When all the guys my age were back in high school, we fantasized about having sex with Raquel Welch. Its a full-service bank. We represent our speakers equally, so our goal is to provide a keynote speaker that best fits YOU. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. Fox News interviewed House Republicans who demand to learn all that's on Hunter Biden's laptop, suspecting it'll reveal shady business deals with his father and uncle. Call us to speak with a booking agent to discuss your event or specific speaker request. My direct ancestor Lord James Hamilton founded Northern Ireland for King James I in 1606 and flooded County Ulster with British Protestants. They say that life imitates art but more often it imitates Gilligan's Island. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. It was reported Tuesday that Las Vegas hotels on the Strip were having a real cannabis problem. Celebrations; Food; Parenting; Health; . You also get exclusive voting rights to determine what stories should be covered and what kind of content you would like to see. I read about it in a Conde Nast tourism article, Two Reasons to Visit Seattle. [1] [6] Biography Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. And to cap it off, Ruperts much-younger fiance just called off the marriage. By Argus Hamilton. He must have passed the physical. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. When he's in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Umbrella-gate & More! Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. "What I would tell my fellow alcoholics and drug addicts is the biggest surprise I ever got is that recovery is more fun than partying. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including the San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and the Seattle Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine, by sports columnists around the country, and by radio hosts who took a cue from the late Paul Harvey, one of Argus longtime fans and admirers. You may have a drinking problem if you drink stuff that not only hits the spot, but also removes it. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. In the news, Bill Maher was sued for joking that Donald Trump is the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. In their new ad campaign, Carnival promises to treat you like Read more, In the news, Cyprus agreed to seize ten percent of the money in high-level Cyprus bank accounts to avoid bankruptcy. See our Privacy Policy. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Rodeo Clowns & Much More! Polls say it would end up being Biden then age 82 vs. Donald Trump then age 78. I would like to join the exclusive Laugh Factory Members Club. Oklahoma Hypnotist, Ventriloquist, Announcer & "Voice of OETA" Featured on "Good Morning America" and in TIME magazine Known as Darci Farmer's Long Time Coach (the Hit Sensation Seen on America's Got Talent), Former ABC War Correspondent; CNN's Former Chief Terrorism Correspondent Recently Embedded in Iraq & Afghanistan with ABC Subject of the ABC documentary film "The Hornet's Nest" (released 2014), Motivational Speaker and Author Customer Experience Expert Customer Service Speaker and Author. Across the Street Courier Cooks Neighbors Puzzles Real Estate Top Jobs. So far Read more, Apple introduces the new iPad Air, demonstrates it on the ObamaCare website Apple introduced a new iPad and called it the iPad Air Tuesday. Scientists say its far from over and prepare for new variants. The inventor of the Stairmaster died at 54, the inventor of gymnastics died at 57 and the inventor of opium died at the age of 116, during an earthquake. All American Speakers Bureau is a full-service talent booking agency providing information on booking Argus Hamilton for speaking engagements, personal appearances and corporate events. Records show most lottery winners go through their winnings in five years. NBC's broadcast of the Summer Olympics in Japan began to draw bigger TV ratings this week as the public became familiar with some of the athletes. Thank you for supporting Argus and his column! Then they took off and soared to $22,000 per card. Read more, Triggering Umbrella-gate, President Obama called in the Marines Thursday to hold an umbrella over his head during his Rose Garden press conference. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. There are Read more, In the news, General Petraeus agreed to face Congress to discuss the Benghazi attack and his sex scandal. Argus Hamilton's bio posted by Susan Shelley @ 2:39 AM Copyright 2023 All American Speakers Bureau. Read more, In the news: Toronto Mayor, Obamacare & More! These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Patron-only posts and messages YOU MIGHT LIKE Going to The Store $5 / month