In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. ~ (George Carlin). Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. Former U.S. representative wonders: Can you keep an (Anthony) Weiner down? Stop to think who it is we kill? Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. ", "If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. Reverend Dr. Aiden (@SweetFnLucifer) May 21, 2022. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. It creates a hostile work environment. ~ (George Carlin). 44. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. But wheres the logic in that? ", "Never underestimate the power ofstupid people in large groups. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. Why would he do that? It's important in life if you don't give a shit. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. Indeed, George Carlin was in a class of his own, however this would only be half the story. You enjoy yourselves. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. 36. ", Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff., "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). They don't like women. Weve added years to life, not life to years. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea. ~ (George Carlin). Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to See more ideas about george carlin, carlin, quotes. This is what we have to offer. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). Everyone smiles in the same It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. Theres no such thing. George Carlin If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes on Pride The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? ", "The owners of this country don't want that. 116. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. This made him outstanding. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 77. Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. They're not pro-life. And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin didnt hesitate to criticize presidents by name Bill Clinton and George W. Bush among them but, more often, he spoke in broader terms and However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. If you love someone, set them free. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. This explains that although teamwork is important, what you can individually bring to a business is equally relevant. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. 60. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: the public sucks, fuck hope. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. ", "Careful. 46. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. The status quo sucks. ~ (George Carlin). It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Thats the problem. They dont fall out of the sky. ", "There are 200 countries in the world now. All rights reserved. Carlin proved that mixing comedy with thought-provoking ideas is perhaps the only way to get people to listen. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. 91. 43. ", "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. ~ (George Carlin). Teach them to question everything. Report 48 points POST Looking at you religion. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Deal with it. Its perfect. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. ~ (George Carlin). I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. Well where do people think these politicians come from? But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! And armbands. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. Thats the problem. 20. This is the best we can do folks. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. Others see it half empty. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. 80. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Fuck hope. An idle mind is the devils workshop. And the devils name is Alzheimers. ~ (George Carlin). And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. ~ (George Carlin). 71. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. I dont vote. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Its interested in its own power. Religion is like a pair of shoes Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Why isn't selling fucking legal?". That was me when I was fourteen. Trump's latest attack addresses DeSantis' overseas trips to the U.K., Israel, Florida's Covid-19 record, and polling support for the 2024 Presidential race. An early crusader against academic fascism, George Carlin fought political correctness long before it took root, foreseeing its regressive tendencies and propensity to become neo-puritanism.For decades, progressives and liberals resonated with Carlin--they were his base. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Never argue with an idiot. 65. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? There are, at least, some points we can all agree on. Who would've ever thought radical feminists would team up with religious zealots to usher in a new wave of censorship and control?Oh, if Carlin was still alive today. Copyright Twitchy.com/Salem Media. George Carlin was way ahead of his time. I put a dollar in a change machine. The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. 29. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just to exist, Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Bidens laptop was not disinformation, Heres the Montana state rep whod rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, Super Mario Bros movie illegally streamed on Twitter, US military tracking another mysterious balloon, NYC Mayor Eric Adams says Tex. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. WebGeorge Carlin Quote: Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. In America, anyone can become president. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". The less said about it the better. ~ (George Carlin). Maybe its because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni! Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Web#1 Dont just teach your children to read. My mother would say, Why are you always playing alone? And I would say, Im not playin, Ma. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. March 24, 2023. Carlin is a philosopherwho follows logicTo claim he is left or right is obtuse. In America, anyone can become president. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights. ~ (George Carlin). - George Carlin International Dance Day 2023: Wishes and Messages for the occasion Ironic that political wings have come to fight over claiming Carlins humor for their own affiliations when his comedy career was a controversial compilation of his own bold assessments and ruthless truths that could offend anyone and everyone on a given topic with neither prejudice nor remorse. The planet is fine. Thats the problem. The strikes left 34 people injured, including three children, and caused widespread damage. An outsider: someone not part of the group. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? ~ (George Carlin). When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose., "Life is not that complicated. Current quotes, historic quotes, movie quotes, song lyric quotes, game quotes 119. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Both the Left and the Right have been known to use his insights to demonstrate their own points. 17. Web421 quotes from George Carlin: 'The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. These bright quotes will inspire you to not to take things so seriously in life! They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. The planet is fine. Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. Maybe this time itll work. Teach them to question everything. 2. Dont just teach your children to read. I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. A few laughs with George Carlin. Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. We havent tried that for a while. He described himself thus: "Im a rude dude, but Im the real deal. The career of comedian George Carlin (19372008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. And the main reason women are crazy is that 32. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. We think in language. Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind. ~ (George Carlin). I was a loner as a child. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on metheyre cramming for their final exam. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Im fu*kin serious! ~ (George Carlin). Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. 105. Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. Because he likes our National Anthem? I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). 7. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol minded. ~ (George Carlin). God has a three-day weekend. ~ (George Carlin). If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. ~ (George Carlin). I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol minded. ~ (George Carlin). 123. If this is the best God can do, Im not impressed. ~ (George Carlin). Im Chandan Negi, the Founder of Internet Pillar. I love sharing quotes and sayings to inspire and motivate people. Theres a humorous side to every situation. 59. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. 42. Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day! Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. 103. They are our elected officials. ~ (George Carlin). However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. 95. Maybe this time it'll work. George Carlin Featured in: George Carlin Quotes Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes 500 WALLPAPERS 8,907 POINTS Seneca Quotes And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. 54. 70. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? I think people should be allowed to do what they want. ", If you can't beat them, arrange to havethem beaten., Laugh often, long, and loud. https://t.co/Zz3gVH148b. The planet is fine. He was a true originala brash, intelligent, eloquent voice that cut to the quick. We haven't tried that for a while. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. ~ (George Carlin). I have as much authority as the Pope. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. They own and control the corporations. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ", I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Ioanna Zafeiriou The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. 81. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? In America, anyone can become president. I don't trust none of them. ", "Did you ever notice who it is? Nothing changed. If you think too much, they'll take you away. Unfortunately, many progressives and today's so-called "social justice warriors" have reduced Carlin to an "antiquated, patriarchal white male oppressor. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. Cant lie around thats their job! 56. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). There's only the immediate future and the recent past. There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting! ~ (George Carlin). If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. They've got the judges in their back pockets. WebFamous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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